Rumsfeld: Iraq War Costs Reduced More than 50%!

"Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld, in a surprise announcement early Friday, May 13, 2005, declared that the recently passed war budget affecting the ongoing wars in Iraq and Afghanistan could be immediately reduced by $48.8 billion. After consulting with noted accounting firm Arthur Anderson and working with the Lexington Institute think tank, Rumsfeld said that despite the 20-year projected savings of $48.8 B, these numbers should be levied toward the immediate costs of the war, making the reduced, discounted price of the Invasion just shy of $36 billion.

Rumsfeld said he was surprised by the new numbers provided to him, and could not wait to share the great news with his American citizen constituents [It is noted that Rumsfeld was not elected to his position, but says he feels "a strong sense of personal connection with every American; white or non-white"].

Rumsfeld also said that, despite dismal recruiting efforts over the duration of the war, the "exciting prospect" of the new savings plan is that "thousands" of soldiers could be redirected directly into the field in Iraq and Afghanistan, making the savings "more than three-fold, if you really think about it."