The Vote Tally Machine

Here's a fun parlor trick for you to try out at your next social function, aimed at raising millions of dollars for your power-entrenched social conservative circle of political pals: Start a company that makes millions making ATMs, then branch out into, say, computerized voting machines that have no paper trail, never get thorough testing, have no accountability or recount capabilities. Ensure they stay this way by having said pals in power, ready and frothing at the mouths for their re-election [extra cool-points if you do this during an election cycle following one where you seized the office without getting the majority of the votes in the democracy].

Promise and vow that you will "Do what ever it takes" to keep your pals in office, in the one state [Ohio] that everybody says will be the battle ground state. Get your pals in that state to write new laws mandating that they'll use your machines, and only your machines, in that state to vote [again, lacking any and all provisions that would ensure accountable election tallies].

Wait until voting day. Oh, the excitement! Look, indeed, it is down to that one state!

And yes! You did all you could! Your guy wins! No recounts [not that they could, anyway, but that's just one of many "assurances"]!

And here's the real trick: Resign from office amid internal scandals and revelations that you did, indeed, assist in possibly enacting federal voters' fraud! Leave the party in handcuffs and the butt of all Democracy-loving jokes!

But know that, in the end, you still got away with fleecing the country. What a fun trick!