AntiC Kids' Book Picks: Help! Mom!

Yes, finally there is a good, reasonable, thought provoking political book for your children.

Help! Mom! There are Liberals Under My Bed! promotes nothing but good American thoughtful politics to your child's idle brain. Just read the abstract!

Book Description
This full-color illustrated book is a fun way for parents to teach young children [i.e.: unaborted - GS] the valuable lessons of conservatism. Written in simple text, readers can follow along with Tommy and Lou as they open a lemonade stand to earn money for a swing set. But when liberals start demanding that Tommy and Lou pay half their money in taxes, take down their picture of Jesus, and serve broccoli with every glass of lemonade, the young brothers experience the downside to living in Liberaland. [Note: They do not discuss the benefits given to them by a liberal society paid for by those taxes they disdain so, such as subsidized lemonade powder; access to a safe potable water supply; an education system whereby they could comprehend the economics of their project; a right to freely practice their religion and hang their Jesus picture in the privacy of their home; the government protected loans that Tommy and Lou will take out when they start their Lemonade Corp Co; and the massive tax breaks they'll inevitably get as such a huge lemonade corporation; the social security which they'll collect when they get laid off from Lemonade Corp Co., but which they faught tooth and nail against; the right to freely express their disdain for Liberaland; the consumer protections which insure a safe swingset; the legal rights which allow them, as consumers, to pursue damages when Tommy idiotically dumps Lou from the swingset but they decide it's the manufacturer's fault; the right to healthcare that Lou will have to heal... oh... haha, nevermind. Fuck you and your healthcare dreams, Lou! etc. But hey. None of these things exist in Conservativeland- or at least, we don't have to credit them, we can just benefit. They don't want to talk about the Successes of Liberaland in the media, only the challenges. - GS]

From the Publisher
Would you let your child read blatantly liberal stories with titles such as "King & King," "No, George, No," or "It's Just a Plant"? [Or: Where the Wild Things Are; Chronicles of Narnia; The Giving Tree... Those... damn... LIBERALS! They're infiltrating the brains of our precious unaborted FETUS-CHILDREN! - GS]

Unless you live in Haight-Ashbury or write for the New York Times, probably not. [Ha, ha! Get it? If not, you're an unfunny LIBERAL! - GS] But with the nation’s libraries and classrooms filled with overtly liberal [Those BASTARDS have infiltrated our LIBRARIES! If we had any choice we'd shut down every library, that'd show em!] children’s books advocating everything from gay marriage to marijuana use, kids everywhere are being deluged with left-wing propaganda. [It's a veritable deluge of Liberal infiltration! - GS]

"Help! Mom! There Are Liberals Under My Bed" is the book conservative parents have been seeking. This illustrated book — the first in the "Help! Mom!" series from Kids Ahead — is perfect for parents who seek to share their traditional values with their children, as well as adults who wish to give a humorous gift to a friend.

Hailed as "the answer to a baseball mom's prayers" by talk radio host Melanie Morgan [Don't worry all you prissy Liberals, she's ultra-reasonable {and my, what a nice web design} and always right. - GS] "Liberals Under My Bed" has already been the subject of coverage in The Wall Street Journal and Harper’s magazine. Written by a self-proclaimed "Security Mom for Bush" and featuring hilarious full-color illustrations by a Reuben Award winning artist, it is certain to be one of the most talked about children's books of the year.

Well, fellas and ladies-cooking-me-dinner-cause-I'm-tired-after-working, you know that I'm going to read my [unaborted, praise be!] children this evening!