Intelligent Design: The Alternatives

Earlier this year, of course, Kansas began hearings considering whether their school system should adopt a theory of Intelligent Design to either accompany the theory of Evolution in their teachings, or potentially to replace it entirely. It was a Scopes Monkey Trial Redux, and it was glorious violence in the name of institutional protestant creationism against scientific evolutionary education.

But what did it leave out? The Kansas board heard only arguments supporting "intelligent design" by a religious creator, with close parallels to God. In fact, many argue that it was God they were talking about. The relied heavily on the persuasions that Evolution was just a theory, and there are other theories which seek to explain the genesis of mankind; except, they forgot to include all of those other theories.

No turtles riding on the backs of giant elephants. No devouring and reguritation of the Olympians by the Titans.

And certainly, shamefully, sadly:

No Flying Spaghetti Monster and His Noodly Appendages; no empirical graphs indexing the temperature to pirate ratio. No comprehensive, alternative theory.

Fortunately, Concerned Citizen and Pastarian Provacateur Bobby Henderson seeks to remind the Kansas School Board that if you seek alternative theories, you must be inclusive.

Otherwise, you're just playing politics.

Let's help the cause.