Rejected Laura Jokes

For those of you maniacs newly in love with our First Lady since her racy performance as a "Desperate housewife," the Dissident Voice brings some of the Rejected Jokes:

"Hillary Clinton, Bill Frist and John Kerry walk into a bar. Frist plays a prerecorded videotape of himself warning the patrons about the evils of drink, are you listening hubby? Kerry convenes a focus group to determine what he should order, and an intoxicated Clinton knocks them both out with the nearest bar lamp. You thought I forgot about the damage we had to fix in the White House bedroom, didn't you?!! BITCH!!"

"Who is supposed to be coming on after me? Cedric the Entertainer? George, doesn't he remind you of one of those guys you fried when we were in Texas? By the way Cedric, I loved you in Blazing Saddles!!"

"I'm leaving after this to play golf with Tom Delay at Pebble Beach. I offered to treat, but Tom said 'It's all covered. Don't ask.'"

"Speaking of golf, did Tom tell you about the time when he played a round with Nancy Pelosi at Pebble Beach? That joker Tom!! He managed to reconfigure the entire golf course so that all his tee shots went straight down the fairway and all her drives landed in the water!!"

"Thanks for coming!! Don't forget to tip your call-girl or street-ho before you leave!!"

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None of these jokes were written by the ordained members of the AntiCentenarian. We don't write em, folks, we just steal 'em.